Transformation & Letting Go

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

Romans 12:2

The blog was originally meant to be solely for sewing and quilting, and it was for 8 years.

At the end of 2018, I announced here on my blog, that I had started a new section in my journey in life. Since then, I have not done much in terms of writing or sewing.

The main reason is this, (and I borrow a phrase that my mentor spoke just two days ago), I was going through an Existential Crisis. I knew which way I was going, but I was struggling to let go of my identity that I had built up over the years here on the blog. I am in some ways, still struggling with who I am and what my purpose is.

Eight years ago, I lost a beloved aunt to cancer, she had tried for years to teach me to quilt. I had just started learning and loving this creative outlet, we bonded, then she passed away. In quilting, I could let my creativity flow free, and do what I wanted, however I wanted, which reflected who I was. Quilting also became a therapy of sorts.

The hours spent, sewing bits of fabric together into quilts, was my quiet time, the time spent reflecting on good memories, working through problems, grieving over the loss of beloved family members and pets.

I realized through this creative process, that any form of creativity, whatever your choice of recreation is, is part of a healing process – a form of therapy.

So, at the end of 2018, when my life changed forever, I wanted the purpose of my blog to be two-fold. I wanted to combine my love of creating with ministry.

This did not go as planned.

Right now, and for the past year until now, my focus has been on ministry and on my theological studies. I did not have as much time to sew, or design. I still sew and even crochet, but only when I have time. And I definitely do not have time to design new things. I do not regret this.

What has been difficult, is coming back to the blog to write, I have wanted to write so many articles, so many words of praise. But once logged in, I hit a snag.

The memories of the past, the blog hops, and sew along, designs and challenges. Some of which happened during major events in my life, that created bitter sweet memories, put a break on any attempt to write.

And so after a long and rather agonizing inner debate, I made the decision to clear out my blog. It was the most difficult thing that I have done in a very long time. There was 8 YEARS worth of quilting memories, that went into the bin yesterday and permanently deleted. I won’t lie, I did cry.

Don’t get me wrong though, I may be sad to see the end of an era. This is not the end. The blog is renamed, and redesigned for the new era in life. I am hopeful, that with the clearing out of the old, and making space for the new, that the creative writing juices will flow. I fondly borrow another phrase from my mentor, (although I think he borrowed the phrase from me). It was time to “defrag my brain” and my blog and letting go of the past.

I am still sewing, but just when I have time.

Now! It is time for new things!

May you be blessed!

PS: Happy Mother’s day for tomorrow, I hope you are loved!

Vanda.